I’ve been feeling a little off track lately and I think I know how to get back on track. In order to do that I needed to make a difficult decision which I’ve been putting off. But of course putting it off won’t make anything better ; )
I’m not getting by as a freelancer and so I’ve decided to find a job for two days a week. There, I’ve said it. And since I’m feeling somewhat relieved after making this decision, I know I’ve made the right one. Was it really so hard for me to make this decision? Well, yes. Because it feels like failing. I quit my job in November 2016 so I could concentrate completely on the Tiny House movement, because that’s where my heart is. In 2017 I was able to get by just fine, but this year it’s different. It’s hard work and little money. I don’t mind working hard, but I don’t like having to worry about my income. It controls my thoughts and it takes all the fun out of working. I’m desperately focused on money when I just want to enjoy working.
I also need to admit that I’m just not a natural business woman. Ha, that’s the understatement of the year! I’ve found out that it’s just not for me; I don’t want to be all about the money. Which is fine, but when you’re self-employed you might need to be. Hence the decision to find a job for two days in the week. That way I can have a basic income which takes the pressure off for me, and for the rest of the week I can focus on Tiny House activities.
I’m also a little off track because I’m not really sure what my role is in the Tiny House movement in the Netherlands. The project I started up in Leusden grew above my head really fast and I’m losing the connection with it. Maybe it’s just too big for me. I’m Marjolein in het Klein (little) for a reason ;). I love working on a national level for Tiny House Nederland. Connecting people to each other, offering a platform with information, all the things we do like organising the meetings for initiative groups. But this also doesn’t create an income for me; it’s about 95% voluntary. That’s usually not a problem for me, but that changes when you struggle to get by. For me an unconditional basic income would be perfect.
I’ve also lost my inspiration for blogging and that’s weird, because I’ve never had this before. At some point you’ve written a blog about just about everything concerning living in a Tiny House, but that’s not really the problem. Maybe I just need to take a step back, trying not to focus on a thousand things at once. Maybe I need to focus on just 2 or 3 projects for the Tiny House movement at a time, beside my 2-day job? Do I have the courage to let go control and pass it on to others, risking the possibility I may not be needed anymore? That’s probably an illusion anyway huh, thinking you can’t be missed? Maybe it’s time to let go. Taking my rest, regrouping, and getting inspired again. And in the meantime: lots of playtime! Standing with my feet in the ocean. Dancing in the rain. Doing things that have nothing to do with Tiny Houses. And rediscovering what makes my heart sing. I think it’s time for this, don’t you?
I suspect it might be really nice to spend two days a week with something other than Tiny Houses. If you happen to have a job for me or have a tip where to find one, let me know. Preferably in Alkmaar so I can use my bike, but if it’s a really fun job I’m willing to travel further. I’m a good project assistant, communication is a strong suit, I’m proactive and am good at organising. Thanks for thinking with me!
Tomorrow I’m leaving for France for a week, staying with friends in a beautiful house in Normandy. More than enough time for fun, good talks around a campfire and time for thinking about the bigger questions of life. Love it! Really being away and broadening my horizon might help to get a clearer view of the road before me. I’ll bring the laptop though so I can do a few chores there. My home and livestock will be looked after by dear friends. See you soon!